Yeti Menace

As a freelancer, its hard for me to express to others how real this is for me, or how this is literally a daily exercise. Enjoy!

Via Scofield Editorial via Russimal

Every time I pass through the checkout aisle, I can’t help myself, but I HAVE to take a look at the tabloids, which are usually good for a chuckle or two. Last night I couldn’t help myself, I had to push a handicapped Armenian woman out of the way and block her from piling her groceries on the conveyer to snap a quick one of the latest BREAKING NEWS… Obama is GAY! And Michelle, bless her heart, is covering up for him.

You know, its about time… I was kinda waiting for this shoe to drop. I mean, come on… He’s “effete,” he’s “poised,” and according to gay-lover Sean Penn… he’s “elegant.” I love my gay president (but not in a gay-way) and we should all be so lucky to have a beard with such awesome arms.

Rev. Jeremiah Wright: Cut up some old, colorful Zuba pants and wear them as robes. Yell and scream absurdities all night about a more perfect union. Randomly yell OBAMA! into people’s ears. Learn the catchphrases. Duck for cover.

The Economy: Tape some money and stock certificates to your clothes and then randomly throughout the night fall straight to the ground. Take time getting up.

Casey Anthony: Dress like a slut. Bring a small doll to the party and bury her under the couch. Drink all night, take pictures, and have the night of your life. Call the party host a month later and report you may have left your daughter there and if you didn’t, a Spanish babysitter has her.

A celeb kid: Dress as a Jolie-Pitt kid. There are so many you could probably get mistaken for one. Deck yourself out in Baby Gap and look adorable. (This would only work for people of ethnicity.) How about Suri Cruise? The cutest little angel that in vetro and Xenu could ever produce. How about a Spears kid? Just wander around the party all night looking for your parents. Like the numerous bastard children in Hollywood, the possibilities are endless.

Online predator: Throw on a huge baggy sweatshirt and cargo shorts. Carry a bottle of Mad Dog 40/40 and a pack of condoms in your pocket. Wander around the party asking women their age, sex and location and tell them all the nasty things you want to do to them. Then follow it up with and LOL, wink or smiley face. But stay out of the kitchen…

John Edwards: Find a female friend. Dress her up in hospital scrubs. Drag her around the party while hitting on other women. Tell people she’s fine and you’re only flirting.

Heath Ledger: The Joker will be huge but don’t be just like the rest. Actually be Heath Ledger: don’t show up to any parties, don’t answer your door or phone, just lay in bed and wait for someone to show up.

–Thanx Chris Illuminati @ phillyBurbs.com!

… or Tawana Brawley.

Pundit Kitchen, I <3 you!

Reuters photo via HuffPost taken after the 3rd debate, 10/15/2008. Really.

UPDATE: It seems I’m not the only one having fun with McCainzilla. via Hank.

My favorite moment in last night’s second presidential debate between Obama and McCain was at the end when McCain bumbled into the middle of the stage directly in front of Brokaw, obscuring his teleprompter and forcing Brokaw to ask him to move.

Arianna Huffington commented on this so eloquently in her morning post:

Brokaw might as well have been speaking on behalf of the future: Senator McCain can you please get out of the way so we can get on with it?

I could not agree more.

In these times of economic despair, I find that a good adult movie is a welcome distraction.

This is a promo vid for Diesel’s Dirty 30 anniversary party.  But who cares about jeans?  This is just cool as sh*t.

Semi-SFW.  Turn the volume WAY UP.  I mean down.  No, up.   Up, down, up, down.  You get it.