Yeti Menace

Rev. Jeremiah Wright: Cut up some old, colorful Zuba pants and wear them as robes. Yell and scream absurdities all night about a more perfect union. Randomly yell OBAMA! into people’s ears. Learn the catchphrases. Duck for cover.

The Economy: Tape some money and stock certificates to your clothes and then randomly throughout the night fall straight to the ground. Take time getting up.

Casey Anthony: Dress like a slut. Bring a small doll to the party and bury her under the couch. Drink all night, take pictures, and have the night of your life. Call the party host a month later and report you may have left your daughter there and if you didn’t, a Spanish babysitter has her.

A celeb kid: Dress as a Jolie-Pitt kid. There are so many you could probably get mistaken for one. Deck yourself out in Baby Gap and look adorable. (This would only work for people of ethnicity.) How about Suri Cruise? The cutest little angel that in vetro and Xenu could ever produce. How about a Spears kid? Just wander around the party all night looking for your parents. Like the numerous bastard children in Hollywood, the possibilities are endless.

Online predator: Throw on a huge baggy sweatshirt and cargo shorts. Carry a bottle of Mad Dog 40/40 and a pack of condoms in your pocket. Wander around the party asking women their age, sex and location and tell them all the nasty things you want to do to them. Then follow it up with and LOL, wink or smiley face. But stay out of the kitchen…

John Edwards: Find a female friend. Dress her up in hospital scrubs. Drag her around the party while hitting on other women. Tell people she’s fine and you’re only flirting.

Heath Ledger: The Joker will be huge but don’t be just like the rest. Actually be Heath Ledger: don’t show up to any parties, don’t answer your door or phone, just lay in bed and wait for someone to show up.

–Thanx Chris Illuminati @ phillyBurbs.com!

In an effort to build awareness around prostate cancer, November is National Grow-A-Mustache Month, also known as Movember (’mo’ is Australian slang for moustache).

Although 75% of most Yeti Hunters already sport facial hair of one configuration or another, we’d like to officially encourage all of our male readers to take November as a chance to let your inner mustache run free.

Hate it? Shave it off if you don’t like it. Love it? Wear it proudly, as men should.

Movember.com

… or Tawana Brawley.

Pundit Kitchen, I <3 you!

Reuters photo via HuffPost taken after the 3rd debate, 10/15/2008. Really.

UPDATE: It seems I’m not the only one having fun with McCainzilla. via Hank.

One of the biggest ironies of life in America is the prevalence and persistence of poverty. To me, this is the most important and difficult problem facing the country, one that has only gotten worse in my lifetime. The irony stems from the fact that America is the richest, most powerful nation on Earth, providing billions in international aid to developing nations to battle poverty and disease, yet millions of our own citizens live in destitute poverty, lacking the basics: food, housing, healthcare, jobs, education.

The question I have to start with is Why is Poverty a Persistent and Growing Problem? I don’t think there is any one direct cause of poverty in America, it is a confluence of many things. But I think that there is a distinct lack of action on the issues of poverty because of the Ideology of Individualism and our societal Fear of Socialism. There is a disconnect by our political leadership to recognize and address poverty manifested as outright denial. When we have politicians who claim “The State of our Economy is Strong,” they are referring to the economies of the middle and upper classes, not to our economy as a whole, completely ignoring the millions who are persistently poor in America.

To add insult to injury, we have been engaged in the war in Iraq, spending $10 billion a month there. Yet, these kinds of expenditures aimed directly at the problems of poverty: education, healthcare, job creation, even direct assistance are off limits to be considered for domestic spending programs. The Ideology of Individualism and the Fear of Socialism reinforce each other in a causal loop of inaction.

It will take real leadership to address the issues of poverty to make a change in America. It will have to come from the top, from our President and s/he will have to stand ready to debunk the rhetoric of the Ideology of Individualism and the Fear of Socialism that will immediately be called into action against the effort. What can we do about it? We need to talk about it: with each other and with our politicians. We must construct the arguments that the elimination of poverty is making America a better place, for everyone. And that we owe it to ourselves to make war on poverty as forcefully as we would the wars we have fought in the last generation.

Wouldn’t that be the proudest moment of our history, to end poverty in America?

Prop 2 is a November ballot measure that seeks to prohibit the most abusive factory farming practices in California and ensure modest animal welfare standards for farm animals by allowing them simply to turn around and stretch their limbs.

“Thousands of Californians who care about preventing animal cruelty and promoting food safety have thrown their support behind Prop 2,” said Jennifer Fearing, YES! on Prop 2 campaign manager. “The opponents of this modest reform are just a handful of miserly corporate interests that put their profits ahead of consumers and animals. But real people understand that all animals deserve humane treatment, including animals raised for food.”

As of September 30, the YES! on Prop 2 campaign has raised approximately $6.6 million. The donations include funds from The Humane Society of the United States and nine other animal protection organizations, as well as nearly 17,000 gifts from individual donors, with an average gift of $134. Of the individuals who have donated, 63 percent are Californians.

On the other side, the No campaign has reported 172 donations from factory farming corporations, totaling $6.9 million for an average gift of $40,285. Only 36 of these donations, or 21 percent, came from California companies. The contributions come from some of the most disreputable factory farms throughout the nation that have a sordid history of abusing animals, damaging the environment, and misleading and gouging consumers.

Prop 2 is supported by The Humane Society of the United States, the California Veterinary Medical Association, the Center for Food Safety, the ASPCA, the Consumer Federation of America, the Center for Science in the Public Interest, the United Farm Workers, Farm Sanctuary, the Cesar Chavez Foundation, California Council of Churches IMPACT, Republican and Democratic elected officials, hundreds of California veterinarians, family farmers, religious leaders, and many others.

For those of you who don’t know Paul Krugman, you should. Krugman is an economics professor at Princeton and a popular pundit who has appeared on virtually every major news program around. He has been on my must read list for many years now and I look forward to his insightful columns in the New York Times like an eight year old boy on Christmas morning. Krugman has been a fierce critic of the disastrous economic policies of the Bush administration, and some of his recent columns rip them a new one.

This morning Krugman was awarded the 2008 Nobel Prize for Economics ”for his analysis of trade patterns and location of economic activity.” Congratulations, Paul, you are officially fucking brilliant.

The first of only four live performances for the tenth anniversary of SUNN O)))’s creation and the recording of their first album The GrimmRobe Demos was last night. Only Sunn O)))’s core members Stephen O’Malley and Greg Anderson were on stage. No guests. No vocals. No keyboards. Just them on stage wearing their characteristic ‘grim robes’ (long hooded cloaks). The air was filled with fog and they played at their signature deafening volume.

For the uninitiated, Sunn O))) play extremely slow and heavy, using droning guitars, frequently heavily drop-tuned to extremely low tunings such as drop A and drop B, accompanied by feedback and other sound effects to create dark, ominous soundscapes. Their performances usually last 1 & 1/2 hours.  This is a marathon experience. They did not disappoint last night. Many who began the performance in the front of the stage dismissed themselves after the first thirty minutes, either from exhaustion or boredom (the bored being those who read about them from the New York Times Arts section article but never having listened to any of the discography). Those who held on got to experience mammoth soul shaking set to harmonics that rattled the bowels.

The venue was an interesting choice. Originally, the show was set to be at Safari Sam’s off Hollywood Blvd. At the last moment, the Regent Theater was picked for some reason (either the crowd was too big or too small–the latter being the more probable). The Regent has the dubious honor of being an adult movie theater until 2000. The shell of a building is hard cement with a sloping floor that made standing or sitting an uncomfortable experience yet somehow added to the show.

Nothing more to say. The initiated stand in awe of Sunn O)))…

As of October 7, Prop 8 supporters are raising more money that those who oppose the measure, according to this very useful feature on LATimes.com.

Look at that big friggin’ circle over Orange County. Thanks assholes!

But worse than that is the fact that the top 3 financial supporters aren’t even residents of California. Maybe you’ll recognize such friendly faces as the Knights of Columbus (New Haven, CT; $1,275,000) and the National Organization for Marriage (Princeton, NJ; $941,134.80), who, incidentally, came up with this whole fucking idea in the first place. And who could forget our friends at Focus On the Family (Colorado Springs, CO; $439,643.66)?

Wanna find out more about who is putting the money behind Prop 8? Check out Californians Against Hate. Because after all, who doesn’t hate hate?